Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Kitschen Blues

I've got back home at reasonably earthly hours for the first time this week.. That alone would be reason enough for a long rambling blog entry about the "joys" of work.
I'll save that for a crappy day :) This one is not worth ruining.

But this whole business of getting home early is more of a double edged sword kinda thingy...
While the pros are
-I get to listen to Clapton and Dylan like they should be listened to.
-I get to fiddle around with the blog.
-I get to stalk profiles of random pretty looking females on Orkut.
-I get to catch up on my reading...Gotta finish the John Gribbin I've picked up.. like ages ago.
-I get to put on leather stockings,play death metal, get my fetish whip outta my closet and play "Whose your papa,bitch!!" with my atrociously kinky Japanese neighbour... (With pros like these, what kinda loser even thinks of cons" :P)

Now the Cons....
When you get back home at 1130 PM, you dont have to make much of a choice..
More like
1130: Return Home.. Swear bout job.
1132: Remove three layers of clothing.
1135: Still swearing bout job.
1140: Switch on comp. Open the packet of bread.
1141: Eating bread. Reading mails.
1143: Login to Orkut. Finish eating bread.
1145: Take a leak..Conjure witty reply to those scraps whilst at it...close zipper.
1147: Send witty replies.
1149: Strip
1149, 20 sec:Snore.

But you get back anytime before 9PM..
There's the bane of every Godamn Veggie Desi Software Engineer in Pardes(True to my profession,we'll abbrev. to GVDSEP for further references) to be confronted....

GVDSEPs, who usually need a map to the kitchen during their comfortable formative years in India , get a rude wake-up call when confronted with the ground realities.(also chopped realities, mashed realities, burnt realities). While trained to confront most challenges in life head on , GVDSEPs have been known to breakdown after being confronted with the "Scrape Charred Rice outta your Burnt Pressure Cooker (SCROBPR)" problem, especially when accompanied by "WTF is burning in the Microwave"(WTFIBIM) situation.

With only a solitary Pakistani Restaurant close to where I live.... most days I have to cry, bludgeon,chop, fry, burn(thats unintentional), toast,roast in the kitchen to ensure that my daily nutritional needs are met....

On that note..
Hungry GVDSEP.

PS: If you meet me on the street, dont ask "Whats Cooking in ur life?" ...Expect violent reactions.Dont tell me I didnt warn you, but then look a the pros...You'd probably be the topic of my next blog entry..."One Liners Can Kill"


Prashant Babu said...

Your blog struck a chord with me all nostalgic now. I agree with you 100%..this "culinary" term is suicide-provoking i tell ya!!!

Elwing said...

dude.. where are u that u have only one pakistani restaurant nearby?... last time i looked there was an asian grocery store at every corner

not tht tht helps... i'm still hungry!

chérie said...

I love the line "A soul in tension that's learning to fly Condition grounded but determined to try". Pink Floyd rocks! Congratulations on being a veggie . . . I've tried and tried and tried in vain - will give up meat someday!

blogfanatic said...

You know me and you also know that what really jammed my attention was:

>> I get to put on leather stockings,play death metal, get my fetish whip outta my closet and play "Whose your papa,bitch!!" with my atrociously kinky Japanese neighbour

Ditch the "privacy thy birthright" in your next post and elaborate maadi. :D

Getting back to the motivation of your post : My sympathies.

In conclusion: My friend Albert Einstein sez, "Vegetarian food leaves a deep impression on our nature. If the whole
world adopts vegetarianism, it can change the destiny of humankind."

You've made him proud my man! Unlike brahms like me who crumbled to the taste of flesh. :-(

PS: Pardon Moi if the comment looks like an essay.

Sandeep said...

@Babz - Theres bout a year more that Ive decided to spend here...So u'll hear more :)

@Elwing - Technically I have an Asian Grocery in every single street corner, principally coz i live in Asia :d last my teacher told me in Std 4...Tokyo was Asia :).. But the point is..Stil Hungry.

@Cherie - U give me more credit than due..I was like Blogfanatic, born a veggie and once I'd grown up cudnt bring myself to eat dead animals..ofcourse unlike him..

@Blogfanatic-This blog is for a family evening reading :P
I bet ol' Al is amused that I'm carrying forward this unfinished agenda :)

Blogger said...

Hi man. Nice writing n ur good at it. Makes good reading.

Am in a strange dilemma.I want to remain annonymous as long as possible, still need comments from ppl. that I dont know on my blog. So, cant advertise my blog anywhere. If u have time, do read it n pls. give a link on ur blog if u think appropriate.


Sandeep said...

@Anon GVD exSEP

Thx for droppin in and the reviews :)... Will definitely be peeping into ur blog once a while....:)
Keep bloggin!

blogfanatic said...

Ol' Al also expects you to inspire your friends, force them into sasyaahaarism even. There are ppl who need counseling out there!!!

PS: Not to be assumed that I am talking about thyself.

blogfanatic said...
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